Sierra suffering part 2

2 posts in 2 days.  A record.  Sierra slept last night.  A huge blessing.  She didn't sleep really well but she did sleep.  I got about four hours before waking up and not being able to get back to sleep before it was time to get Haylee up for school.  Took Haylee to school, came home and Sierra was awake so I made her breakfast. In the process of making her breakfast I dropped the yogurt and it hit the floor and splattered all over and also knocked a shelf out of the fridge. Got that cleaned up and as I was putting the shelf back the glass jar of olives fell off the shelf and broke spreading oil and glass all over the floor. The bonus of that is as I was on my hands and knees cleaning up the glass I realized the good news that there was more yogurt under the fridge.  *sigh* I was DONE with today by 9 am. I made Sierra lunch so she could rest as much as possible. I needed to spend some time at the thrift shop so I listened to some conference talks and got ready to go.  I prayed on the way to base and cried as I drove and poured my heart out.  

I got myself together and worked at the thrift shop for a few hours before I get a text from Sierra stating she had thrown up in my bathtub.  I decided I needed to call the pain doc again (the old one since it's the TPI's that they did that are hurting) they kindly said go to the ER.  A little less kindly I said that is ridiculous.  I cannot take her there everyday. What else can we do.  Doc A said he guessed he just can't help her and we needed to talk to her PCM. Really??? So frustrating. I called the PCM and left a message.  About that time I remember I have a cousin who has shots of Zofran at home that she injects when she can't keep pain or nausea meds down. Sierra talks to her PCM and they suggest doubling her current dose of nausea meds. (Seriously? She has been puking from pain for YEARS and just now you decide to let us know she can actually take a stronger dose of meds. Grrrrrr. So frustrating!!!). Her PCM tells her the pain doc will prescribe those meds. I call the pain doc back and she says no he won't prescribe that.  He never does. The PCM needs to do it. I hung up on her.  I am not proud of that but I was beyond over the whole situation. NO ONE will help us.  No one cares that Sierra is suffering so greatly.  Sierra just took two pills instead of one of the nausea meds.  Joe, Haylee and I headed to the first football game of the season.  Sierra stays home to rest.  While we are gone she throws up three more times. I get home change clothes and pack a bag for the ER.  This whole situation is crazy.  I refuse to believe that this is our only option but at the same time what are we supposed to do.  She is so tired of being in pain.  Something has got to give.   I hope the days between now and the first go quickly. We need to get the new pain doc in the game quickly.  We are losing this battle a billion to three and it really sucks.  So so much. 

Watching her suffer is breaking me into tiny pieces. I am running out of super glue to hold us all together.  big breath.  Hold on. One more minute. One more hour. Hold on.