Sierra's suffering

I have been wanting to start a medical journal/blog/history all about Sierra for awhile now.  It seems I can never find the time to sit down and write.  This is our family blog but I need to write tonight and am not going to set up a new blog right now.  We have been to the ER twice this week.  Sunday night and Monday night.  Sierra had a terrible migraine that was causing her to vomit repeatedly.  Two nights of sitting and waiting.  The first night it took them about 3.5 hours to get her treated; the second night it took 6.  We waiting for two hours in the waiting room for people to go ahead of us who were laughing and talking, getting snacks out of the vending machines, watching shows and doing homework on their laptops.  Sierra had her head in her hands, eyes covered and a barf bag in front of her.  The ER is a tough place. 

Monday during the day -before our second ER trip- brought new hope.  Sierra was finally going to have trigger point injections in her back and her legs.  She had been waiting a patient through her pain for months.  Her pain doc is lazy and a drug pusher, he does not listen to her at all.  He is not into other forms of pain relief.  We have not been happy with him but were trying to stick it out.  I have no idea why.  Why do we do that to ourselves? Why can't we say  "You are not listening!! Please listen closely so we can work together to get this under control." Sigh. Trying to be positive and hopeful and nice does not always pay off.  Giving the doc the benefit of the doubt is not always the right thing to do.  Anyway, when we first got to the docs they put us in an exam room where we sat for 15 minutes before they came in and told us the injections had not yet been approved by our insurance company.  I was surprised because she has had injections before.  Sierra was so frustrated and sad. By the time we got to the car she was bawling. I called the insurance company right away.  After the dozen and a half phone prompts I was able to figure out that the injections HAD been authorized. Back into the hospital we go.  Got the injections and headed out.  Monday evening her headache was bad bad bad, side note we told her pain doc about the ER trip the night before. He didn't address it at all.  His answer to everything is "yeah, yeah, yeah, ok" Dumb. ended up in the ER for the second time -that was the six hour night (got home just before at 4a.m.) 

Thankfully I didn't have to work so i went to bed.  Tuesday Sierra complains of terrible back pain.  She has had injections before and not felt this way.  We rest her, try heat, ice, meds etc....no pain relief.  The good news is her headache is better.  Wednesday comes and her back is still out of control painful. We call the doc to ask if this is normal.  Sierra talks to a nurse and she reports that the doc "isn't going to give you more medicine." Uh that's not what we asked. We asked if it was normal.  She says the doc said if she can't take it we should go to the ER.  What kind of answer is that??  We don't want to go to the ER. Why does her back feel like it is seized up? What should we do?  No answers.  Frustrating does not begin to cover it. Thursday (today the 25th) we had a scheduled appointment with a new pain doctor at the university of Kansas hospital.  I almost cancelled the appointment because I didn't want to seem like we are drug seekers but after the bad TPI's on Monday I decided we needed to get a second opinion.  We saw Dr. Lattif (reason four thousand for a medical blog to keep track of all the doctors and procedures.  Seriously it is a billion) Dr. Lattif was awesome.  Super awesome.  He took a lot of time with Sierra.  He listened closely and did a thorough physical examination pinpointing the exact muscle groups that are bothering her in her back and legs.  He changed a couple of her medications and is going to do TPI's on September 1st.  We were very pleased with our plan going forward.  This evening still Thursday...Sierra is crying in pain.  I have no idea what to do.  No. Idea.  I am tapped out.  Absolutely exhausted.  I got her in bed and tucked her in.  I told her I would sleep in the basement other her.  I will sleep in a chair outside of her room. I have an orange bulb in the lamp.  It gives off a warm glow.  I am at a loss for what to do.  Got on my knees and prayed for relief for Sierra.  For her to find the strength to endure it. For the Lord to carry her through.  I am trying, I am weak. 

Latest and greatest

I shall use pictures to tell all the news. :)

These two are getting MARRIED!  In this temple (Bountiful) 7 weeks from tomorrow!!  

My favorite proposal pictures 

They are so cute!! 

This awesome girl won a scholarship from the Whiteman Spouses Club!!!  Free money is the best!!

Joe went TDY to Diego Garcia.  He was gone for four weeks.  This is such a cool shot of the B-2 while they were there. 

I need to get some more pictures off his phone that he took while he was there. 

Haylee and I visited the farm while he was gone. The baby lambs are the cutest! 

Selected this pic on accident but I'll leave it here since it is a good one of D and Cosmo.

I won two awards!!!!  Key spouse of the quarter for the 509th maintenence group and then I won at the wing level!  So that was for the 509th bomb wing. 

I felt pretty fancy. :)!

We went to a Royals game!  They played the Nationals.  It was so fun to see our "home" team play our DC team.  

We were a house divided.  Honestly if I had had some Nats gear I would have worn it! 

Our favorite Nats player, and fellow Mormon boy lol, Bryce Harper. 

We were hoping he would hit a home run but no such luck. The game was actually super boring!  Only two runs scored the whole game.  Lame. The Nats won and Haylee was happy. 

She also requested a picture of Kauffman stadium.  It was great to be at "The K" 

Tonight this girl is sick. 

So is this boy. 

Last thing this is Haylee's awesome self portrait!!!  She drew this in art class!!!  It is so good!!  

Busy-ness

I bet half of my blog post titles could be summed up in one word.  BUSY.  It never seems to end but when I am overwhelmed with it all I try to remember that we are blessed to be healthy and to have so many activities and work and friends that we don't have a free moment!  I have still been working a lot.  That should ease up next week.  Which is happy and sad.  Happy because maybe I will have time to clean my house and go to the grocery store, but sad because I love working at the dental office.  The boss called me in this week to ask if I was happy with the arrangement for me to fill in and not have a permanent job there.  I told him I was happy and liked the flexibility that being a PRN offers.  He said he did not want to lose me so if at any point I decided I needed 14 hours a week or 20 hours a week -whatever- to let him know and he would make it happen.  It has been such a great experience to work for the Heath's!! 

Since I blogged last Haylee competed in the state Science Olynpiad meet.  She did not place in any of her events but she had a great time and learned so much!! She also competed with her guard team in the state championships.  They placed 7th out of 9 I think....she did not love guard but she hung in there and made some new friends.  I am so proud of her for doing this activity which was way outside of her comfort zone.  She auditioned for fall guard ended up not making the team she is an alternate and wasn't super disappointed about it.  She is looking forward to high school and all of the other activities that will come with that.  

Sierra moved home about a week and a half ago.  It is what needed to happen so we could stabilize her overall health.  It has been nice to be able to take care of her but not fun watching her pain overtake her at times.  We ended up in the ER last night because she just couldn't take her ankle pain anymore.  She had thrown up almost a dozen times from the severity of her pain. She couldn't keep pain meds or anti nausea meds down.  Pretty miserable for her. 

This is how I left her when I went back to work after lunch: 

Puke bowl, remote, laptop and ice on her ankle.....

This is at the ER.  The blue bag is for barf, she is hunched over because her pain is raging.  

We got her in and they gave her a shot of Zofran and 6mm of morphine.  It was a huge relief when the pain started to subside.  I can't imagine what she goes though on a daily basis.  Thankfully her ankle has been much better today. It is heartbreaking to watch her suffer.  I am talking to a few new docs though and we are hopeful we will get some things under control so she can go on with her life.  

Church is busy too.  We (Mary and i) are teaching at our relief society conference tomorrow.  I have been pondering about what to speak of for weeks and of course the perfect thing comes to me at 10:00pm the night before.  I think the ladies will enjoy the class so I am looking forward to it.  Speaking of that.  I better get to bed......night all! 

M

Breakdown.

Lots to catch up on so I will be brief.....maybe! 

A couple of weeks ago on a Friday I was stressing about some things coming up in life.  I prayed and cried and told Heavenly Father I needed some extra help.  Saturday I had a total breakdown.  Joe had been gone for a few weeks, I was working a ton, managing everything at home, prepping and stressing about Sierra moving home.  I was driving to Springfield -2 and a half hours away for a guard competition- and Sierra called me to tell me she was headed to the ER again for pain in her knee.  She had another small bit of news as well that I won't share, as it isn't a big deal, but that day it sent me over the edge I had been hanging onto for dear life.  I drove and cried and called my poor boy because my mom didn't answer and with Joe gone HD was the next go to.  He was at the gym but dutifully answered the phone and listened to me cry and told me everything would be alright.  He is a great kid.  I drove some more, cried some more and arrived at the school feeling vulnerable but better.  Saw Haylee right before they competed and she told me she wasn't going to compete because her knee was hurting her too badly. (It was mysteriously swollen a few days before that).  She felt terrible I had driven all that way but there was nothing to do about it at that point. I told her I didn't mind and found a seat to watch the team.  But seriously when a person is mid-breakdown and said person has driven a long way to see a child perform and said child sits out this competion- it was like rubbing salt in an open wound.  I was brave and smiled and waved at my beautiful girl so she would know it was ok. A lady sitting next to me said something extra nice and I almost started bawling again.  After the performance I hugged Haylee and told her I would see her at home.  Drove the 2 and a half hours back crying and talking to a dear friend and my mom on the way home and prayed a lot.  It was a rough afternoon.  I got home in time to go to the adult session of stake conference but I had zero desire to go.  However, I thought if I wanted the Lord to come to me then I had to go to Him also and He was going to be at stake conference.  I decided the first priesthood holder I saw that I knew I would ask for a blessing.  I cried a little more and off I went.  (Goodness,I was a mess!) thankfully I saw a member of my bishopric pretty quickly after arriving and he gave me a beautiful and helpful blessing.  I knew that I would be alright and I would have enough strength to handle the trials and stresses in my life.  Before I got my blessing I wondered why I had had this kind of day.  Why, when I asked Heavenly Father for help, had things gotten seemingly worse?  I realized then that I had been prompted many times in the last several weeks to get a blessing but I had not done it. Heavenly Father had some things he needed to tell me but I had not taken the step he had prompted me to take.  Thus I got a push over a cliff so I would seek Him.  Lesson learned!  :) I cried a little more that night and in the days since but I feel peaceful about the direction things are going and I know I am not alone.  I am so thankful that I know of the love my Father in Heaven has for me.  That he wants to bless me and communicate with me clearly in the way that I would easily understand.  I should also add that I am thankful for the priesthood power that has been restored to the earth and for the men who worthily hold it and use it.  

L.O.V.E.

How cute are these two?  I believe love is in the air for these cuties.  I am thankful that my boy has found a girl that makes him so happy.  HD and Kassi have been dating since November-ish and they are just happy as can be.  It has been fun to watch this process as a mom.  I love HD coming to me for counsel, taking that in, and then making decisions on his own using his own judgement. He is a smart boy. And a lucky one to have such a wonderful girl in his life.  No engagement........YET!  😍. We will see what the future holds. It is an exciting time.  

If they get married I want a shot exactly like this on their wedding day.  It's my fave!  Kass looks so happy. Love them both. 

Yo-yo

That is my weight in a nutshell.  I reduce  my calorie intake to 1200-1400 calories a day and I lose weight.  I do that for months then fall off the wagon somewhere and can't get back on for the life of me.  I hate it.  The whole truth of the matter is that I am HAPPY.  Happy with who I am, happy with my family relationships, happy with the friendships I have, and I have the best husband in the entire world that loves me no matter what. All of this attributes to me not having the motivation to change.  Why fix it if it ain't broke right? The only wrench in this fabulous life is that I want to be HEALTHY.  I need to be healthy so I can live a long time and be with the people I love most for as long as possible.  I also feel the need to be healthy so that I can take care of Sierra.  Currently her health is spiraling out of control.  We are moving her home so we can get her stabilized and seeing the right docs.  Her poor body isn't going to hold together well and she is going to need some extra care from time to time. I want to be able to relieve that burden for her and the burden that will inevitably be placed on her dear sweet husband (when he comes along on his white horse) 😉. I need to be healthier.  I need to take better care of this precious gift of a body that I have been given.  Side note: it was a good idea to blog about this because I am feeling called to repentance right this moment for the abuse I have put this poor body through -not eating well and not exercising does not do a body good. It is time to get back on the wagon of healthy eating.  It is possible.  I can do it. I have to do it.  I weighed myself this morning and it was not pretty.  I did ok today but not fab.  Need to go grocery shopping and get good food in the fridge and pantry.  Wish me luck friends.  I don't want to be a yo-yo anymore.  Although I do think this swirly one is pretty.  

Have to make another note of Haylee and my time together today.  We went out to dinner tonight and laughed and talked.  Took a quick trip to Walmart with more laughing.  On the way home "Billie Jean" came on the radio (Missouri radio is really awesome) and she and I danced and sang with the windows down all the way home.  I sure love that girl and the time I get to spend with her.  

I got her this dress today at the thrift shop:

Work the good, and teeny bit, of bad

The good:  I love my job!  LOVE IT!  Who knew I would enjoy working on teeth so much.  People always say "it would gross me out to put my hands in someone's mouth!" Before I was a dental assistant I might have said that too.  But I LOVE IT!!  I enjoy the patients and the office I work in and the day literally flies by.  The pace is fast but the work isn't too physically demanding.  It is a great fit for me!  I am so happy to have been given the opportunity (literally given! -no application needed).  On top of all that I get to be a PRN which means I just fill in when they need me.  I am thankful every time I go to work to be learning so much and enjoying it. Plus they pay me to be there! Bonus!  I also get an hour and a half for lunch which is amazing.  Today I got to talk to Lana for an hour of that. It was the BEST!  How blessed I am to have served with she and Becky in the Suitland Stake.  And now the teeny bit of bad for today.  I am lucky that it doesn't happen often (because I don't work everyday) but tonight Haylee gave me her schedule of events for next week's "Fine Arts Night" at the middle school.  She is in drama and they have been rehearsing a play for a couple of months. They are doing the Seussified version of Romeo and Juliet.  And the play is at 4:30.  I don't get off work until 5!  Hopefully I will be able to leave a bit early but if our schedule is full there is no way I can go.  With patients in the chair, ya gotta be there.  (I just made that up, I am hilarious) I will be so sad if I have to miss it.  Thankfully Grandpa and Grandma Huhmann are coming so they will get to see her perform for sure but I feel terrible especially since Joe is out of town.  I am not a mom who misses things.  Such a bummer!  I am keeping my fingers crossed that it will work out. I am also very thankful that Haylee understands if it doesn't.  

In other news:  it rained cats and dogs today which is nice because we haven't had much moisture through the winter and my allegries have been giving me heck this week.  The rain should help keep the pollen down for a few days. I have never had allergies before but I am allergic to Missouri it seems.  Lame.  Thankful for Allegra!  :) side note: my knees were hurting all afternoon and this evening.  Is this a side effect from the rain?  Apparently my body thinks it is 87 years old.  So rude. 

Last news to report, I love my bathtub!  I am an -almost daily -bath taker and the tub at this house is a big soaker tub with jets!  Double bonus there is a window right above the tub. On cool nights I open the window (while hiding my nakey bits of course!!! Lol) and enjoy a warm bubble bath with some fresh cool air.  It is heaven!!!  This is my nightly view:

Ahhhhh.....I could stay in here for hours.  

Night friends!